It is weird to see this year fly past.

and it reminds me that that hole hasn't been seeing much light too.

I have faith but sometimes, I really wonder. Did I take the right path?? I really want to break down and head towards my comfort zone which is... Go back to study. Yeah. Still, I need to pass that getting an interview stage. Which basically sucks.

I realised, God answers most of my prayers when I do... Leave it in His hands. Had a few breakdowns but I know, I've been stronger these days. Just a tad more cynical to people.

Thank God for friends who do pull me through things.

Anna... I'm sorry for mostly PMS-ing at you most of the times. I know you kinda read this blog?
Jess, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
June ah June, you're always always there when I need to release steam.
JinHong, you're just awesome for who you are and you made me realised things.

I had the chance to "say" goodbye to my kids in Koru where I had, actually relieved for a year. I really really miss the older ones though... The little ones still give me hugs as I had them most of this term... But, realising that, I really love the independence but still dependent older kids on me. The yells of "MISS SONG!" even though I was quite, um... Mean to them. I really love them and they do know it by just saying "Good morning!" or just tickling me or poking me in the arm.

Walking along the school during duty time, some of them came up and gave me a huge hug. Or even just showing things off to me and telling me when I'm gonna relieve in their class again. I realised, I probably wiill never see these kids again and I'm gonna miss them a lot. They had unconsciously, stuck and superglued themselves in my mind and heart. They created a lot of memories that will always keep me smiling. I remembered this girl coming up to me telling me that I MUST and NEED to watch her perform but sadly, I was called to relieve in another school.

I come to realise, it is really sad IF I had to go back to Malaysia because, would this even happen at all? The teachers there... I really, wonder still have the passion for educating these kids. Just because they aren't rich or smart, would you still wanna keep going on teaching?? I really seen the passion the teachers here put into teaching and I really applaud them. I want to be those kind of teachers that one day that student will think back. I can still remember always wanting to learn and school was fun!

I really, really do not want to lose that passion. And the pathway I'm gonna walk next, I leave it in God's hands. He knows what is best for me. He has brought me this far.

What makes my day...

Lots of really unhappy, stressed moments last week...
And today, I relieved in a new school.

I was really worried that I'll totally sucked at it and I think I did...

But then, what made my day and my experience as a teacher is...

Kids telling me that I'm the best teacher ever.
And saying to the principal they really like me.

Even though... They screwed up sometimes. I get really mad. But still, they really apologized to me when I said I was really sad about their behaviour and they try to change.

I still don't get kids telling me that "Miss you're beautiful/pretty/nice."

Is it sacarsm? I think it's just kids.

They are really, really, really lovely kids.

Made me so happy.

but super hungry cause I was always on duty.

rants aside...

I guess I've kinda lost myself here. I don't have that many friends. I'm more of an introvert. Plus, it always seems that I initiate things and people just follow...

Insecurity.

However,

It's Jin Sil's birthday today!!!

(p.s. Jin's sister!!)

Was playing along with her touch screen phone and I can't wait for mine to come!!!
THE PERSON IN HK GOT IT!!! YAY!!!

touchscreen touchscreen. Sadly, it's not SE for me anymore... I'm turning Korean. Samsung!!!

HAhaha... Jin and her sister is astounded by my weird Korean. I just randomly select phrases that they usually use and just randomly use it to answer them. I really want to learn Korean but first, I need to master my use of Cantonese! =D

Renee says I'm pretty good at understanding her and Mavis.

HAhahahahha... CHOGIYOH!!!!!!! Dae... Kenchana....

=)

My spelling sucks. I really need some time off. Somewhere... I'm exhausted.

the stupid effing spring/summer in the air?

oh just go die.

it's annoying.

i don't need to know 24/7.

or even what they do.

oh effed off

its a most annoying day for me.

ANNOYING. PISS OFF. GET THE MESSAGE MAN.

*calms down*

RAGE. I DON'T KNOW.

STUPID WEIGHT GAIN.

and

LIFE REALLY SUCKS.

make lemonade out of the lemons life throws at us?

i rather throw it at people who pissed me off. so much useful.

I SHOULD NOT CARE SO MUCH.

guess, high time, move on. but where? I don't know.

they never wanted me anyway

I'm very Asian. Oh wait, I'm ASIAN!

My ♥ for the moment... But, then, one is gone. NO THEY ARE NOT GAY.
>.>

The total randomness of today...

We did house visiting.

Renee, unexpectedly, LOVES sitting in cars and just... Driving her round.

After our really PRO game of BIG 2. Which, I MANAGED TO WIN. Most of it. Apart from Renee's pro-ness. I decided that I would go home early and at least, have dinner.

Did I?

NO. Even after sending Chao Wei home. We decided that, a trip to his house's bathroom is essential. Because, he keeps complaining bout his cousin that WE MUST SEE HIS COUSIN!

I expected:
Ugly, fat and... I DON'T KNOW. Typical Asian dude.

Chao Wei forgot his keys. =D

MAKES IT AWESOME because HIS COUSIN has to answer the door for him. HAHAHAH.

.................................. chao wei says to expect boxers. We got pyjamas.

THEN,

sending anna home, took a detour to Hillsborough Primary (as the lighting was perfect) and took heaps of random ugly photos... WITH A DSLR.

I want one now. It makes everything looks sooo... nice.

and went to her house...

(which in Chao Wei's term = Expensive JUNKYARD)

HOARDERS. Seriously, so much stuff. I thought mine was bad. I'm really messy but after being to all the others, Anna's house beats messiest, hoarding. too much stuff house hands down.

Jerry and Chao Wei's room is neat. NEAT.

I just throw my clothes on the floor and leave stuffs. I kick them under the bed. Aaahhh...

Mum will kill me if she sees it but then Dad picks up after me. =P

Perks of an ONLY CHILD. Nyekekeke...

Super Asian

I think I'm really a super Asian driver.

on top of that, a female ASIAN driver.

Aucklanders have something about Asian drivers....

When they drive a tad crazily, we go "BLARDY ASIAN DRIVER!"

I've reached that point sadly. =(

Seriously, I find myself driving in the middle of two lanes because:
1. I don't know which one to use.2
2. I hate changing lanes.
3. I subconsciously drive in the middle.

Another horrible driving habit is speeding when I need to turn. GOSH. At least I'm better than Anna... She is horrible.

Wow. I also kinda expect every single driver to read my mind.

=.=

Failure at driving. I need to employ a driver.

p.s. I don't consider myself Chinese. I'm half. Even Jess and Anna. But Anna is really half Viet. Me and Jess, we're half malaysian half chinese.

Halves = Gorgeous.

DIE.... I think I got too high on 2PM!

Frustration... and lost of trust.

One thing I learnt in youth.

Don't trust anything people say.

I don't know. Why I'm so cynical these days.

Guess it also through picking people up that they can't understand the phrase "Can't you tell me earlier?" *coughs*

Seriously, if something is wrong, tell straight up.

If Adam's Night wasn't good, SPEAK UP. Don't tell me it's awesome in texts and bla bla bla. I KNEW IT WASN'T. DO I LOOK DUMB? Stop treating me like someone who can't take things on. I'm not mad at the comments, I'M MAD AT THE STUPID ATTITUDE.

Don't wait for me to ask you guys to "GIVE BLOODY FEEDBACK!"

Far out, I think we're old enough and mature enough to bear it...

I'm sick and tired of the attitude "I'm scared she might be angry."

I DO THINK THROUGH STUFFS. COME ON. KIDS.

And I do not need excessive emails telling me what things I KNEW WENT WRONG.

PUT IT IN POINT FORM. After reading children's work, I DO NOT WANT TO BE READING LONG HUGE AS EMAILS THAT CAN'T GET TO THE POINT.

*RAGE*

Anyway, I'm the small fish. I'm bidding my time. I do not know when and where I'll be going next. It seems that time is going to be up soon.

There is a time for everything...

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

A message not only for me, but also for... JaeBeom.

P.S. Only the people close to me know what I mean...

No, it's not about a guy. LOL! At least not about someone who knows me. HAHAHAHAHH!!!